Thursday, February 5, 2009

ALERT: Andrei Arshavin hates Women, Gravity

New Arsenal creative midfield/wing/forward/second striker/-thing/-er Andrei Arshavin would not hesitate to ban women from driving, as reported in an interview with everyone's favorite piece of trash, The Sun. After an incident involving a female driver, a young Andrei/Andriy/Andrey was flung "ten metres up in the air. It is a miracle I am still alive." For all of you struggling to calculate the physics behind such an impact, they don't exist. Suddenly Wenger's buy is making far more sense to me.

Andrei also revealed his fitness aspirations for all eligible North London ladies: "I like tall, slim girls with narrow thighs and tiny bums,' he said. 'If a girl is like this I do not pay attention to her breasts. Hair colour doesn’t matter either. What is really important is her style and manners."

Any women looking to land a currently engaged Russian who appears to be 12, you now have your goals.

(Scouser-safe link to a Guardian piece including the quotes)

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